ameliastory

saw this on jianee's blog.
you've GOT to check out the difference :D




                            29th February 2008


                                

            9th December 2009



yup, times have changed
and ppl have changed; physically, emotionally and mentally.

hello 2010, i know i'm a tad little too late but oh well!
this year started, well, in a bus on the way to cathay. yes, but i guess i did something different this year instead of being asleep, or watching countdown at home or being like a loner :)


i think 2009 was a pretty awesome year for me, not taking into account the exam stress which definitely did no good to me. probably studied more than i ever did in my entire life in just one month D:
and here comes 2010, which i dont think i'm ready for. i'm going for SERVE which ends in march and then i need to get a job to finance my "not-so-impulsive" spending, and to keep me occupied and kill time while you go to army ):
cant wait to go to Europe, not looking forward to the appreciation of their currency though, didnt they learn econs? X-M would decrease, they should devaluate their currency instead so X-M would increase and thus economic growth. (okay i did not just say that, ignore me)
OH and then there's transport. totally not enjoying adult fare ): no more acting young by not tapping when alighting or making a mental note which says "oh those poor adults must pay so much but i dont have to :p" not like it really matters but i miss the ez link machine not going "ti ti!" when i tap my card D:


life in the new year has been Boringggg with a capital B! ):
someone take me out next week D: 
neopets and viwawa are not very good long term relationship partners.
i think i should really just stop ranting, but no. i'm Bored.


and you, you're gonna start work soon, and then go to neverland, and you'll be soooooo busy. i'm gonna miss you, i wish we could spend more time together );




ps. aye, i want a boyfriend shirt. yknow, those kind of big baggy shirts? no pun intended.
pps. i wonder if anyone actually reads these, haha tell me if you do yea

and i got hurt.
hurt so bad by someone i never thought would.
accused, maligned, whatsoever
seriously, i know what i did, God knows what i did, so dont you do this to me
i guess in this great universe, only You will be with me till the very end of age; only You will love me no matter what i did or who i am


You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
Your are God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God alone


Yes God, that's what You are.
and in front of You, i stand unashamed, because i know that You love me unconditionally, unlike any other.

after talking to you, i just dont know what she's thinking, or what you're thinking anymore
 
i'm sorry

and the chapter reaches its very last line, very last word; and a new one begins.
but did i mention which chapter?


school yes, but River of life, well that's more of a prologue i guess, to what's in store for me in my longggggggg journey ahead





church camp was fantabulous.
despite the downpours and minor glitches in the whole schedule, God showed His faithfulness indeed.
and the very fact that so many changes took place for the better through this camp, wow, it's already a testimony of His love for us,

indeed i'll miss the cool dorms, and the water bombs, and bryner's brynerghini and of course my dearest camp comm, but what's in the bigger picture, well that'll definitely be with me wherever i go


aye, and now, i'm beginning to abhor, well maybe not that strong a word, but around the same line, myself.
cos i did not practise what i preached.
yea and there's more to it than what you're reading here so dont you go forming little opinions in your mind.


and you, dont cross the line ya.
i drew it right there, clear as black over white, so please dont step over it.

And again i post with happiness, relief, melancholy, sadness, and a tinge of regret intertwined together.


Band Dinner&Dance was great and it rekindled the love for the ppl in band in me <3
after going through a hella roller coaster ride with them, i guess i will indeed miss them.
i've learnt lots being in VJCSB.
how some ppl really care abt you, how some are not very nice, how not to judge (which i shouldnt be doing so in the first place), how to trust.


then there is school.
with 3 assignments and 2 tests in 3 days, the weariness is really starting to get to me.
bus journeys are beginning to feel longer each time..


and i start to think.
think about my conversations with T, how it made me realise so much.
think about how all these are going to end soon
think about my friends, about A levels.


i cant believe what i heard today
if it's true, how can some people be that shallow?
sometimes i dont know who to trust, like you think they'll always be there for you, but no, they're not.
i'm not going to judge, i'm going to let God do it.
i just hope you look around you and see the people who truly cares about you.



Happiness with a thin veil of panic; as if it'll disappear any time

All right so today is the last day of the holidays.
hmm the holidays have been..good.
GSS shopping was a blast - loads of handbags, dresses (the one from banana republic's my fav!), cosmetics, comfy egyptian cotton bed sheets and pillows etc. all at off the hook prices, what more can a girl ask for?
okay fine, the girl's feeling a tad lil guilty for spending so much money ):
Studying was great- study dates make studying so much more bearable (: 
[until the school announced that exams were postponed that i stopped studying properly /:]
Friends were awesome- random outings with church ppl, sec school friends and classmates were fun and they were great company!
 

so now, tmr's gonna be the start of the second half of the year.
the lil more interesting, a lil less eventful, a lot more terrifying, and a lot less fun -.-
aye, but we've just got to get through it right?
oh well, this place is gonna get a lot more quieter too (not that it's not now la), but yea,


Till we finally get a break,
the end.
 

 

this post is so weirdly short i cant get used to it. 
doesnt matter, it just doesnt. 
and so does so many other small lil things in life which i used to think was so important

well it's been quite some time since i actually posted sth here so maybe i thought i should put some photos.
but i think there must be some easier way than uploading one photo at a time which i did -.-

anyway, SYF's been over for 17days
how memorable that day was- 7th may.
right, Victoria Junior College; Gold
oh well, we played our best and as long as we know that, i believe it's good enough for me. (at least i've been convincing myself that it is)
okay who am i kidding, i'm listening to our recording now and we ROCK.
TRCC.



danny+xiaojia+jessie



trumpets 08-09



with jessie



are you SHOCKED?



j2 trumpeters


but now, SYF seems so passe
before we know it, it's our last performance in band in VJC performance theatre.
though it wasnt a fantastic concert since we only practiced all the songs for about 1 week plus, well i'm sure there'll be fond memories..



before the concert



during intermission with gabriel



back stage in the dark o.O



:)



family photo (?!) (as claimed by me section -.-)



jiayun+anne+cheryl -thank you for the balloons!



mr tan! <3



danny!



ticketing comm 08-09



thomas!



TT LOVE <3



supposed to be sad cos the seniors are leaving but jiawee seems happy /:


there were many individual shots with ppl but they were all blur ):
so all right, i'm supposed to be sad that i'm leaving band for good, like really good.
yes, there's a lil melancholy, but i'm kinda relieved that i'm free from the bane of the band, go figure.


i guess that's it, time to pull up your socks knee-high and hit the books.
tata!



p.s i feel so guilty for writing such short letters to my section, i promise long ones for investiture!

when you begin to look at life at perspective, you begin to realise that things arent that big as they seem after all.
an exam is only mere hours compared to the number of years you have here on earth, not to mention the vast span of eternity after that.
so sometimes when something happens that just dont go the way you want it, dont dwell over it, put things in perspective and you'll see that there are many things out there that needs our appreciation.
it doesnt matter what is happening now, what matters is what happens at the end.


hmm since the last time i posted let's see what interesting things happened..


free cone day? :D
soundcheck @ TRCC - which was kinda a disaster cos we dont sound very good there ):
econs test- with cheat notes that i barely used cos i didnt know what to write in the first place.


not very interesting but who cares, i like the way things are going now.
i thank God for the people around me.
be it those whom i confide in, those who make band practices so much more enjoyable, those who make school so much more bearable, those who never fail to make me feel appreciated and loved.
i need assurance, and i guess so does everyone else.
to be reassured that we are part of this society, that we actually belong.


NAPFA test tmr, good luck to me.
6 inclined pull ups dont even seem near reality yet ):
and so do many other things..

i think i've really kept it in real long, too long in fact.
so much so that i was thinking abt it the entire time in school and when i was in NTUC and a woman exclaimed loudly that we were standing there talking and blocking her way, i just scolded her a bitch. hello? like i have every right to stand there as much as you do, you could just excuse yourself gently? B*TCH.


all right, but that's not the real amelia isn't it? i hardly ever use that word.
so what made me say it?
well, let's just put it this way. To me, there are two kinds of friends.
true friends, and superficial ones.
True friends are ppl who you can confide in, turn to when you just need someone, or just be able to sit beside each other in silence without feeling awkward at all.
Superficial friends, however, are ppl who you come to realise that you can never rely on. they are just ppl who treat you as a friend just cos they need one and dont wanna feel lonely. when you need help, they turn away, thinking it's none of their business. in other words, you're being foolish to even expect them to support you.
but come on la, in this world where everyone is trying to find a place where they can truly fit in, who are you kidding man?
ppl who just spend time with you cos they have no one else to spend time with. and when someone they 'prefer' comes along, they disappear.
yes i admit i've done that to some ppl and i'm truly sorry. but now, i finally know how it feels to be on the receiving end of this all.
some might call it retribution, but let's face reality, Everyone does that. you, me, he, she, they, all.


i guess by now, there would be ppl who would have opposing thoughts. but that's me. i'd  really like to be your friend. i like true friendships.  but if you're gonna be a superficial one, than i'd rather not be yours at all.
in addition, you might find i'm a sensitive freak. but if you dont mean what you say, i'd rather you dont say it at all. i mean, you know it hurts ppl, then why say it when you're just going to say 'i'm kidding' after that?


there're really some ppl who i really like to walk up and say straight into their face 'i hate you'.
but i ask myself, do i really hate that person? maybe, but God tells us not to.
To love your neighbours as yourself. Love your enemies.
all right, i do.


hai, after typing this, what exactly is my point? i dont know either. maybe i'll know someday, somehow. it's been writting with emotions as complex as an impressionistic art piece. go figure.
but in all due respect, i do not refer to anyone in my section, i think they rock :D

easter service today was awesome!
from the 'STOMP' drummers, to the dancers, to the wonderful painting of the cross, to the sermon, to just this wonderfully beautiful (or should i say beautifully wonderful?) sunday (:
let's just say, Trust in Jesus, Turn from sin, and Tune in to the Holy Spirit within you..


did some shopping and got oil pastels! how random, but it makes my happy haha.
watching the back to back episodes of Amazing race now even though i've watched them before.
i think i should really stop blogging just because i've got a new blog, i have nothing much to say anyway.


all right then, shall go do some tutorials. really time to start on them given my rather dismal CT1 results?
amelia's pro-tutorials from now on!



ever realised that the person you love is the only one who could make you smile when no one else can?

have you ever loved something so much, yet hate it so much at the same time?  well, terrible feeling aint it.
take a simple example, ponning lectures. oh how much we oh-so-love to pon lectures, but what good does it bring to us? nothing. perhaps a lil extra spare time on our hands, but that's it.
this sounds like a 'simplistic idea' as larry might say, but apply it to a bigger context, you'll get the bigger picture.
hmm i think i'm beginning to become a little hard to decipher.


anyway had band today! syf test was fine although it didnt turn out to be what i'd expected it to be /: i think it's getting better, now that people are finally practising and the J1s have started to fit in nicely with the J2s.
band's starting to be more enjoyable alr yay (:
oh and really much congrats to st margs' for getting their GOLD! i'm really proud of all of you :D


hai but sadly, i've lost my voice from all the shouting during sectionals. no thanks to honeydew/honeydew sago which i took on wednesday. and i thought i'd grown out of my asthma ): heehee and coupled in with sleeping at 245am last night, i'm pretty much exhausted for the day.


oh well, i need some change, change in my style of blogging, change in the journal layout, change in my attitude towards tutorials and change in my thoughts- to one where the word superficial does not exist.

yup i've finally come to realisation to stop waddling around the mess and get things straight. took me slightly more than a year?
oh well, new beginnings, yay (:


and i think i've got to change this layout soon. heh